A New Pet For My Wife

The Things We Do For Love

I don’t like Humans, I prefer Vesrudians, but my wife really wants one. Personally, I think they are nothing but a hassle. Always making a mess. Wanting to be fed at least three times a day. Making weird noises all day and night. And you have to get someone to watch them when you go on trips, or they will tear up the house. But she likes the way they curl up next to her on the couch while we watch shows.

When the last one died, she was very upset. We agreed to wait a year before getting another one. That would give me a break from having to clean up after one and give her time to get over the trauma of the last one’s death. Well, the year is up. I dread the four-month trip to Earth and back. But I love her. What am I going to do?

She says she wants another Canadian. They do seem to be the most friendly and compliant breed. That East Coast American sure was a handful. Of course, the purebreds are the worst. I like mutts better. I tried to talk her into a Vesrudian, they are way more fun. But she is a human Galapian. So a human it is.

I hope I can find a good one. It is so hard to tell when you are picking one out. They act so scared. I guess it’s not that big of a deal. They only live about 9 years. 

I read once that 1 human year is like 77 Galapian years. How do they know that? It is a short life, but they got it made. Doing nothing but laying on the couch all day. No responsibilities. Three meals a day. It’s definitely a human’s life.

Alright, here we go again.

“I’m leaving to get your human, Babe. See you in a few months.”

“Thanks. You’re the best. Love you.”